In Your Dreams

October 19,2012




James Thurber was a great American humorist of the 20th Century. His cartoons and short stories regaled readers of the New Yorker for decades.

One of Thurber's best characterizations was that of Walter Mitty, a mild-mannered magazine editor whose daydreams allowed him to escape the dullness of his quite ordinary life.

In Mitty's dreamworld, his secret life, he transforms into a surpassing hero, a swashbuckler, a champion. He becomes Wing Commander Mitty of the RAF, and Captain Mitty, brave conqueror of storm-tossed seas, and Gaylord Mitty, riverboat gambler with a heart of gold, and Dr. Mitty, surgeon of world reknown.

All of which bring to mind the current Republican candidate for President, who
also undergoes frequent changes of character. Instead of the arrogant, condescending, rude plutocrat on TV last Tuesday, this dream version of Mitty casts himself as Mitty the Magnanimous, who avers his love for all Americans. That represents a nice gain over the past several weeks. Prior to that, he loved only 53% of the populace.

As Mitty the Math Whiz, sans the green eyeshade, he has overcome an initial fuzziness concerning the Republican debt. He will permit the Bush tax cuts for the 1% to continue, and perhaps be made permanent. But he dissembles with talk about changing tax rates for the rest of us, while unable or unwilling to cite numbers and how they apply. Absent details, the effect on the Republican deficit is still fanciful. It's remains the Republican deficit, and should be labeled as such because it was born and nurtured under George the Dullard, and has grown to monstrous proportions because of Republican intransigence. How can government debt be retired when government income is being reduced? Mitty the Math Whiz seems to think he can blather it away.

As Mitty the Bold, he promises on Day One to demand the Chinese reduce the value of their currency in order to level the playing field in trade with the U.S., Japan and Europe. He also waxes indignant over Chinese theft of intellectual property, and rails against U.S. taxes and regulations that he says forced American manufacturers to relocate to China in the first place. He says nothing about attractive Chinese labor costs nor anything about profits made overseas that are not subject to American taxes. Mitty the Bold did not reveal his response if his demands are not met. So we are left to speculate. Perhaps on Day Two, he'll send Bain Capital, his former investment bank, to China to stage an unfriendly takeover. Of the country.

As Mitty the Suave, the GOP wannabe ragged the Brits on their preparations for the Olympiad, which turned out to be a flawless aspect of the most viewed Modern Games in history. He then denigrated the Palestinians, thus fanning the flames of hatred of the U.S. by Muslims in the Middle East, if not the whole Muslim Universe.
Smooth and suave.

Mitty the Fierce made political hay out of the death of American Ambassador to Libya Chris Stevens. Ambassador Stevens and three other Americans, a State Department employee and two security contracters were killed by unknown political assassins. Mitty the Fierce's response is to put more American boots on the ground. Our experience in Irag and Afghanistan refutes such puerile reaction. The statement by Mitty the Fierce in this instance, along with his earlier comments about the Palestinians, starkly reveal his arrogant and dangerous ignorance. Change that to arrogant, dangerous and fierce ignorance.

Mitty the Gallant is struggling, but apparently not too hard, to deal with women's rights and issues. He did not seem to be aware of Lilly Ledbetter, and there is no record of a woman ever serving on the Bain Board of Directors. He vows to repeal Roe V Wade on the one hand, then declares the right of women to contraception on the other. No reference to men. He promises to unfund Planned Parenthood as the first step in shutting it down. He fervently claimed to have had binders full of women, an odd phrase, from which to select appointees to his administration as Governor of Massachusetts. On the fate of the binder multitude, the record is clear. By the end of his term, there were fewer women of high rank in his cabinet than when he came into office.

Mitty the Kid rode out of the west(of Michigan)on a reverse Robin Hood mission. That is, to take from the poor and give to the rich. The business of Bain Capital is corporate raiding. It's the art of taking over depressed companies, manipulating assets, and shedding liabilities. The object is to clean up balance sheets, and improve P&L statements, causing stock prices to rise. The raider then sells his interests and pockets a handsome gain. The first liability shedded is payroll expense, employee salaries and benefits. That means careers are interrupted or ended, and futures jeopardized. Conversely, it means offshore accounts filled with many bucks for the likes of Mitty the Kid. Corporate raiding is a brutal business practiced by brutal businessmen. So when Mitty the Kid defines 47% of the population as he does, it is without remorse. His claims of compassion, belied by his actions, are false. Mitty the Kid is all hat and no cattle, as they said about Bush 43.

As with Thurber's fictional Walter Mitty, the real life Mitty dreams large. This Mitty dreams of being President. The 1% agree. But it's difficult to imagine many of the 99% willing to trust the country's highest office to a 1%'er, one of the class whose greed is boundless, a class whose greed caused the greatest financial panic since the Great Depression. Especially a 1%'er whose most pronounced personal quality is arrogance. A 1%'er whose political positions fly back and forth like tennis balls; a 1%'er whose unrehearsed comments are often inane, uninformed, and offensive. Mitty's fellow 1%'ers have a simple answer. They buy what they want, and the Presidency would be nice to have.

How reassurring it is to look forward to the day when the 99% will rise up and say,"No, Mitty. Not in your dreams. Not ever."